Paper Re-Write

For my paper re-write I am planning on redoing my second essay about the term “bro.” I enjoyed writing this essay because it was a fun topic to research. Many of the websites I used, as sources were quite entertaining. I think in this paper I did a pretty good job of description, but I think I may have over done it in some cases. On the first paper I struggled with description, and I believe this caused me to over do it on the second paper. I had many different examples of the “bro” in all different regions.  The problem I had with this paper was the synthesis.(which is not good because that was the goal of the paper) I was unsure how to take multiple sources and combine them together. I have a clearer understand of how this will work now however. My thesis is that is paper is that bros are typically seen as obnoxious party animals, which they are, but they also have a lighter side. They are all very conscious of their friends or other “bros.” This is what I wanted to show in my paper. When I go back and edit it I plan to show how each region has certain activities that only he and his bros take part in. Since each region has slightly different activities for “bros,” this should work. In the end it will be clear that bros all share the same traits and lifestyle, but are also very familial. 

As far as over all structure I plan to keep it mostly the same, but I plan to take out the part about the “bro-ho.”  Looking back, that is sort of irrelevant. I also plan to take away some of the description, and add in more examples and dialogue. I think this should give a better picture of the bros.  As far as the “so what,” I am still a little unclear of how I am going to work that. Ill ask around and hopefully get some help. I think the peer revision will help me with that aspect.